


is this what you call love?

by lostin_space



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: First Kiss, Flirting, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22063711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: Michael realizes he's had a crush on Alex for six years.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	is this what you call love?

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on April 6th, 2019, while the first season was still airing

“Hi, I’m Alex.” **  
**

Michael looked up to the boy standing in front of him. He’d been back at Roswell for a month and the only people he’d spoken to were Max and Isobel. That had honestly felt like enough. Being back with them was a return to safety that’d been missing for the last six years. It was even better when he realized they had some weird stuff happening with them too. Maybe not moving shit with his mind, but definitely something out of the ordinary.

Yet, as Michael looked up to the dark-haired boy in front of his desk, he thought that maybe he could find room for another friend.

“I’m Michael,” he replied softly. Alex smiled, taking a seat at the desk that was touching Michael’s.

“I know. Do you wanna be partners? I usually pair up with Kyle, but you looked like you needed a partner more.” Alex said. Michael watched him hesitantly.

“We have a project?” Alex snorted and Michael felt his cheeks grow hot.

“You forget to pay attention?”

That started them regularly relying on each other as project partners for the rest of middle school. Michael never considered them to be friends since they never really spoke outside of class, but Alex was always nice to him. A nice smile always made him feel better, especially after his overly religious foster parents did fun things like burn crosses into his arm.

Sometimes, Michael would stay after school or purposely get detention to avoid going home. He would just roam the hallways and try to prolong time. Most of those days, Alex would also stay late, staying in the music room. Michael never actually spoke to him on these days, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t sit outside the music room and listen to Alex play guitar and sing to himself. He couldn’t figure out why it was so soothing, but it absolutely was. He felt like he could stay there forever and just listen. On the hardest nights in the group home, imagining Alex singing proved to be the quickest way to make him stop crying.

But then the summer before high school happened. Rumor had it Alex was sent off to some military camp and he came back a completely different person. He looked good. He had new clothes, new hair, new piercings, and a thing for nail polish. Michael noticed every tiny change and it felt odd. Alex had always been nice to him‒but suddenly Alex was nice to look at too.

The change to his exterior seemed to come with an unforeseen change to his interior as well, however. He stopped talking to most people, only keeping Liz and Maria in the loop. Michael had tried to speak to him a few times through freshman and sophomore year, only to be shot down with a cold “Guerin” and a blank stare. Sometimes, if he watched him enough, Michael would catch him smiling. He felt his heart race every time.

Junior year, Michael stopped trying to talk to him. There wasn’t much of a point. Instead, he kept to himself and Max and Isobel and spent his free time working on anything that involved not being at the group home. Sometimes that involved sitting in the music room and trying to teach himself an instrument or two. The guitar came easy once he found a book of chords and he learned how to play those songs Alex had played for himself. Most of the time he’d be alone, but occasionally he and Alex would have overlapping ideas. Michael would stare until Alex looked at him; Alex would stare until Michael looked at him.

Sometime before senior year, rumors about Alex spread. Sure, there had always been rumors that Alex was gay, but these rumors were accompanied by lies of him coming onto one of the football players and the word ‘fag’ written on his locker every other week. Alex’s anger seemed to amplify. He didn’t even stay in the music room if Michael was there too anymore. It stirred something in Michael he didn’t understand. All he knew was that he was now living in the back of his truck he’d spent three years working to get and he couldn’t seem to hear Alex singing him to sleep in his head anymore. He’d forgotten how to comfort himself without it.

It was six months of not hearing him sing before Michael couldn’t even picture it in his head anymore. It was pissing him off. It led to two weeks of staring at Alex in the least subtle way he could, desperately wishing Alex would talk to him. Alex never did. So Michael asked him in history one day if he wanted to play after school.

“What?” Alex asked, confusion written all over his face. Michael shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

“We, uh, we used to chill in the music room and play shit. Do you wanna… do that again?” Michael asked. Alex bit down on his lip and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“We never chilled, Guerin. We were just in the same place at the same time.” Alex snapped. Michael furrowed his eyebrows at Alex’s hostility. While Alex hadn’t exactly been friendly in recent years, he’d never been mean. Alex’s face softened. “Just… not today, Guerin.”

That was enough to convince Michael that he was going to bother the shit out of Alex until he hung out with him. He didn’t know exactly why he was so dead set on it, but he felt it deep in his bones that he needed to get Alex’s attention.

So he started stealing his guitar.

“What the hell, Guerin?!” Alex demanded one day as he barreled up to him and ripped the guitar from his hands. Michael fought the smile that wanted to show itself. It fucking worked.

“It was out of tune, so you’re welcome,” Michael said. He really was feeling optimistic until Alex decided to point out he lived in his truck. Maybe he shouldn’t have wanted Alex’s attention. This wasn’t fun attention. Well, until Alex told him he could stay in the shed behind his house.

Then the dreams started.

Most of them were normal, PG dreams where Alex was just with him for some reason. Sometimes they were working on a space ship, sometimes they were Luke and Han Solo in a brand new, Michael’s-subconcious-created episode of Star Wars. However, every once in a while, he’d have one where Alex would kiss him or he’d kiss Alex. They were always very chaste and very quick and Michael was sure not to think anything of it. He was very grateful to Alex for going out of his way to be nice to him. It wasn’t hard to think his subconscious would use kisses as a way to express that gratitude.

Except it because a little too clear that Michael got it wrong whenever it almost came true. Alex had brought him a guitar and sat close while he played. It wasn’t until Alex began leaning in that Michael realized his dreams were pure wishful thinking and they were manifesting. Which scared the shit out of him so he looked away.

That night, cuddling a pillow that smelled like Alex, Michael had a dream like no other. It was vivid and intoxicating and jerked him awake. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat with clear images of Alex touching him in places he didn’t know he wanted him to touch. Dream Alex had doused his naked body in hot kisses and had carried it further by kissing down his torso until he gave a smile and disappeared beneath the blanket that covered his hips. Now Michael couldn’t breathe. He could only think about how to make it a reality.

Michael left the shed early to not be caught by Alex’s dad, but found himself stuck in the front seat of his car for hours with his mind on Alex. Even when he went to hang out with Max at The Crashdown, his mind was on Alex. Things were making sense. He liked Alex, _really_ liked Alex. Apparently years of being thankful for his kindness had come together to form a crush without him noticing. Now that he noticed, it was overwhelming. It was like if he didn’t kiss him immediately, he’d suffocate.

Before Michael could decide what he wanted to do, he found himself parked outside of Alex’s work. He sat in his truck and watched Alex in the little window, looking miserable, yet adorable at the same time. Michael was desperately trying to find the right words to tell Alex how he felt. Something about, “You looked at me five seconds longer than normal and it caused a second sexual awakening I didn’t know about because, plot twist, BOYS” sounded a little too ridiculous even if it was true.

Eventually, Michael decided looking stupid was better than missing his chance all together. So he convinced himself to get out of his truck and ask Alex to talk. Alex looked annoyed which more than amplified Michael’s terror. But when he got Alex alone and finally kissed him, it was so worth it. It was like he remembered how to breathe.

“I have to go back to work,” Alex eventually whispered as he pulled away. Michael had Alex’s hips held tightly against his own, moving his lips across Alex’s jaw whenever he separated them. Alex giggled, tightening the grip he had on Michael’s hair. The action pulled a moan from Michael’s throat and Alex gulped. Michael smirked. “O-Okay, seriously, I have to go back to work.” He moved his hands to Michael’s cheeks and gently guided him to look at him. When their eyes met, Michael felt like dying. How did he not realize it? How did he go so long without noticing? How the hell did he even survive without kissing him?

Michael rested his forehead on Alex’s, smiling so wide it hurt. Alex smiled right back, his thumb stroking his cheek. A shiver ran down his spine and Alex gave him one of those chaste kisses from his dreams. Michael felt dizzy.

“Come to the shed at 10, okay? We can… pick up where we left off.” Alex suggested. Michael nodded, nudging his nose against Alex’s before stealing another kiss. How did he tell Alex that he wanted to kiss him for the rest of his life?

As Michael made his way back to his truck with a skip in his step, he let it settle in how much kissing Alex solidified. This felt so right. Being with Alex made more sense than anything he’d ever experienced. And Alex wanted him too! It was perfect.

For once, Michael was finally winning.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
